why do i end up sitting straight up in my sleep. ignore how many blankets I use.
Bestie it is impossible to ignore the amount of blankets you use at first I assumed this was a meme and those were the layers of the crust of the earth
I actually have 4 more blankets I sometimes add but I didn't want to make my blanket number look excessive
Are you okay
The results are inconclusive on that.
Bestie. the reason you end up sitting up is your lungs think you are being crushed.
OP making the bed
Cinderella marries the Prince, part 1/2
Part 2/2
This was a short story originally written by @batneko ! You can read the original post here: https://batneko.tumblr.com/post/171036276147/cinderella-marries-the-prince-and-its-fine-the
Thank you for reading ☺️
A simple, seemingly straightforward hunting game with a pretty, fairly realistic art style and a really good atmosphere and ambience. While you spend most of the time in the game by yourself in the woods, there's fun side characters you can chat with whenever you need to go to the shops to get new ammo or gear, like a friendly fellow hunter, the local shopkeeper, and kooky, cryptic local hick who ambiguously warns you about Things In Them Woods That Are Best Left Be.
So you play the game and hunt. There's odd glitches in the game - sometimes you can slide through a solid object in order to get to a spot that the game shouldn't let you enter, sometimes a thing that should cause you damage won't happen if you keep spamming the same action on top of it. The first ones are pretty subtle, you could easily miss them, or not bother trying to exploit them.
But if you do start exploiting these systems, and to game the game, the more frequent they become. There's a area in the game where you can only get into by sliding through stone, and there you find an ammo pack that regenerates itself whenever it is spent. There's a glitch that enables you to survive eating a mushroom that should kill you, and you find that the more you consume them, the less often your character needs to rest, until you completely lose the need for sleep.
You encounter a deer that keeps glitching, and by this time you've learned that it's likely something either neutral or profitable, so you aim for it. It's not a clean kill - the aim doesn't work on it like on the regular deer - but you manage to down it anyhow. To your surprise, it has five pelts - all in excellent condition, despite of the way you barely got the animal - and ten times as much meat as a regular deer. You start looking for and hunting glitch deer practically exclusively, it would be stupid not to.
Despite of having regenerative ammo, almost infinite meat and no need for rest or lodgings, inevitably you do run out of something you can't get from the woods, and you have to go to the town to the shops. Once you're there, you find that your dialogue option button is missing - you've lost your ability to speak. The locals seem disturbed but unsurprised by this, and the cryptic hick looks at you with disappointment and says something along the lines of "oh you poor bastard, don't tell me I didn't warn you."
Going back to the woods, you're more focused on hunting and exploiting new glitches than for game animals, and you find that besides looking for lucrative glitching deer and foraged goods, you have to look out for the glitchy predators - not only bears, cougars, wolves, but even the bite of a janky, distorted fox can be lethal. And besides the beasts, you have to look out for the other hunters who never made it out of the woods.
This is now a survival horror game.
cinderella marries the prince
and it’s… fine. The prince is great! They’re in love, he’s very sweet and passionate, writing her poems and songs, giving her anything she wants. The time she spends with her husband is great.
but cinderella is not royalty, her family was noble but she never spent time in those circles. She’s used to being busy, she’s used to cooking and cleaning and mending. There are hours, days, where she has nothing to do.
time passes. cinderella learns the fancy lady type of needlework. Learns to ride horses. Reads a lot.
as is normal for royalty at the time, they travel and are hosted by nobles or stay at castles owned by the king. But even that variety begins to become routine. The prince is distracted, there’s a lot of young women living and working on their route. Daughters of nobles. Younger and prettier with soft hands that have never done a day’s work.
cinderella needs something to spend her time on, and there’s a part of her thinking a couple-only trip might get her husband’s attention again, so she suggests making an old castle that’s fallen into disrepair their “project.” It was built in the time when castles were made to be defensible, so it’s quite sturdy, but it’s overgrown and secluded. The prince doesn’t know why his family stopped living there either. A hundred years ago it was their summer home.
so they go. And they work. And for a while it’s great! But when they leave for winter cinderella’s husband forgets her once again. cinderella resolves to make the best of her life and stop worrying about a man who has gotten what he wanted from her.
summer comes again and this time cinderella goes alone to the old castle (minus staff, of course, but cinderella manages to narrow it down to only repair workers and one maid). She can cook and clean and mend again, but this time it’s her own choice. She is happy.
this summer they make more progress on repairs. The workers say that most of it can be salvaged, except one tower that’s been completely overgrown with vines and briars. It will have to come down, eventually, but for now it can be safely ignored.
cinderella has more free time now. The old castle has a surprisingly untouched library, though time and moisture have damaged many of the books. Behind a collection of greek poetry cinderella finds an old diary. Very old, in fact, at least a hundred years. It’s rude to read a diary, of course, but whoever wrote this is long dead, and cinderella is bored, so…
from the description of activities the author looks to have been nobility. Maybe even a princess. She’s sensitive and sweet and smarter than she seems to realize. If circumstances had been different cinderella wishes they could have been friends…
after the summer ends cinderella returns to her husband. He’s spending a lot of time with a young musician and cinderella can’t even work up the energy to care. She does some research about the castle and the family she’s married into, finds out the name of the princess who wrote the diary.
aurora. Cursed and forgotten. She died young, they say, in a plague that also took out the castle staff and her own parents. Luckily they avoided a succession crisis, but not so lucky for the dead.
time passes. cinderella goes to the old castle again and again, even out of season. Soon enough all that remains to be done is the old tower, and the builders say they should tear it down and fill the gaps before it gets cold.
one night cinderella is restless. The princess from the diary had been fond of that tower, and cinderella is far more attached to a dead woman than she ought to be. She gets out of bed, reads by candlelight, and finally goes to walk the empty halls.
she finds herself going to the tower. Pushing past the vines that don’t seem so troublesome really. They almost part before her. The stairs are perfectly intact, the door at the top is already cracked open. As if she should have done this years ago, cinderella steps into aurora’s bedroom.
she’s as beautiful as the stories say. And sitting under her hands, crossed across her stomach as it rises and falls, is a book of greek poetry.
years later, people will tell the story of cinderella as a cautionary one. Don’t seek above your station. Don’t marry for prestige. After all, a girl who grew up as a servant once married the crown prince, and disappeared after only three years. She ran away, they say, she couldn’t handle the lifestyle.
two old women who run a bookshop together agree with the lesson. Marrying for the wrong reasons never ends well. It’s best to wait for someone you have things in common with, shared interests.
or, failing that, the more linguistic of the two says, wait a decade or ten for someone to fall in love with you from your diary.
her partner laughs and hits her with the socks she is mending.
Weird stories I remember reading online:
A dude starts a story about airsoft with "my great-grandma was a contortionist in a circus. This will be relevant later." And then he starts explaining about this challenge that was played out at his local airsoft field, essentially two-team capture the flag, where both teams could move their flags around their own respective fortresses and hideouts, but with specific rules to make it harder to keep the flag location hidden from the enemy.
And this guy happened to spot the enemy team moving their flag (I think you needed to have 3 players of the team to move your own flag or something), and saw them taking the flag to one large-ish shack with only one entrance. This guy circles the shack several times but can't find any other entrance, only a narrow opening in one wall that's clearly intended to just let in sunlight, and allow people to shoot out of the building or try to shoot in. The enemy team has left this room unguarded, it's upstairs and the flag is held downstairs.
They don't consider it an entrance that should be guarded because no ordinary man could reasonably enter through it. But our hero here is not an ordinary man. He's hyperflexible, and not the first in his family to use their genetic loose joints in their advantage. So this guy reaches in, and carefully puts his gun on the floor. He takes off his coat and belt, and put them inside, too. He even removes his shoes. And then he dislocates his fucking shoulder, in order to squeeze through a hole that people shouldn't fit through.
Once inside, he manages to get his shoulder back on the right way, takes a moment to recover, gets himself geared back up, and sneaks downstairs to fire three unsuspecting enemy teammates in the back, capturing the flag and winning the game. From their point of view, this guy had just manifested out of thin fucking air.
Having been the key to winning this challenge, in a feat that seemed downright impossible, the guy was asked to explain how. So he told them of the squid-like squeezing feat. While everyone was impressed, he was the reason why the field got a new rule: no limb dislocation allowed. Also there's now a bar in the middle of the previous slipping slot, barring any new attempts.
And that's how a circus contortionist's great-grandson got "All team members' ligaments must be kept at their intended locations during the whole game" added to the rule list of an airsoft field.
The Catholic Church spent $3 million trying to crush abortion rights in Kansas, and failed
If the church can spend 3 million dollars to influence the government, they need to be taxed.
this motivational drivel could have been a notice taped over the punch clock and printed in comic sans
“some ppl arent american and dont know what aave is” okay. why are they using it. how did it get to them.
oh the internet?? and social media??? where they can also learn where these words come from and why they shouldnt use it????
pintsofguinnesmakeyoustrong
loved the black phone bc the cops literally did not do shit the entire thing. They relied on a possibly psychic child to solve a serial killer case while her brother and his ghost squad home alone’d the killer to death
